Hey guys, I have something called 'Synesthesia' or 'Ideasthesia'. By the way there are lots of fancy words in this post so sorry if your head hurts after. Also, after this you are going to think I am insane. Sorry.
Why am I making this post, I hear you ask? Well:
1. Serious procrastination
2. Kind of an interesting topic
3. My friend blanked me when I tried to talk about it
4. I don't have many friends
5. Where was I going and what is this list?
6. I really need more coffee.
If you don't know what Synesthesia is, here is a quick summary.
Synesthesia: The 'blending' of senses. More specifically associating taste with sounds. For example, you might here something and get a taste in you mouth.
Ideasthesia: The rewritten definition of 'Synesthesia', any type of Synesthesia rather than just the association of taste and sound. Basically science was wrong so scientists tried to fix it.
I have two types of Synesthesia, one being Ordinal Linguistic Personification (Sounds like linguine - mm pasta) and the other being Chromesthesia.
Ordinal Linguistic Personification is the association of letters/numbers/words with colours and personalities. So for as long as I can remember I have always thought that 4 and 5 were pink and purple respectively and they were best friends and incredibly bitchy, 4 is more outspoken than 5. I told you I sound insane.
When I was 4 I went to my teacher and tried to ask her about this and even at that age I could see the look of worry (for my sanity) written over her face.
I also feel very uncomfortable when people write words in colours that I don't associate them with. For example, I also picture the word 'hello' is yellow. If you were to write it is another colour I feel paranoid that something is going to happen, it is as if I am superstitious with colours and words.
The other type I mentioned was Chromesthesia, I don't really have a story with this, but it does explain a lot about me. Chromesthesia is the associations of colours and sounds. Rather than seeing block colours I see shades and patterns. In the most poetic and pretentious way, it can be both a blessing and a curse. Listening to music can be beautiful, I can paint pictures in my mind that are full of colour. However, listening to many people speak at once can give me dreadful headaches!
I did a video on it, go and watch it:
So do any of you have this? I think it is really interesting.
Go check out my social media and subscribe to my youtube channel!
Also what do you guys think of the new Doctor Who companion? Pearl Mackie looks really good!
This has been Rachel, signing in and signing out xx
Hello,
As I have my GCSEs over the next few weeks, I felt like it was a good time to buy some more stationary, so I went onto amazon and did some ordering...
here is what I got...
The first item I got was an apple pad. This was an impulse buy. It looked cute, don't judge me. Ok, so what do I think about it?
The paper is good, it is actually really strong and really good for only 90p. However, if you need to write something down, you have to flatten it out because physics. Also the sheets aren't sticky, but as I said it was 90p so it good for the amount I paid. (Link)
My next item is probably my favourite. They are ballpoint pens and run really easily. If you want to get more pens get these. They also have really cute crowns because I am a queen. They cost £2.17 and oml get them! Not preaching or anything but they are really good! (Link)
The next item I ordered was these syringe highlighters. They work quite well, but they come out so dark that you won't be able to read your righting. They work better for underlining. The ink is incredibly paint like but I kind of like it. I did think that the syringe would go down with the ink, however, it doesn't. They are good pens but not brilliant. They cost £1.50 (Link)
I also ordered a pack of ink pens, they looked quite cute, however, not all of them work. The ink doesn't run that freely. There are a few translation errors on the lids as well (they came from Japan) They cost £2.20 (Link)
My final purchase was the Zebra Midliners. I really like them and they work really well, however, just like most highlighters, if you go over a darker pen, they drag the different colours across your work. Also, I really like the two different tips. They cost £3.50 (Link)
Most of my purchases were really good, the postage took a while, however, they do come from Japan so I'm not that surprised.
If you liked my haul/review please tell me :3
So, go check out my social media...
This has been Rachel, signing in and signing out xx
While listening to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and doing my computer science revision, I had the sudden inspiration to start a series on how girls' think. If you are a potterhead you may know where I got the inspiration from ;)
So for anyone out there that doesn't know how girls brains work please read on or just send this to anyone who needs to know :)
1. This one is pretty obvious. We will never tell you what we want. WE WILL GIVE YOU CLUES. Be Sherlock Holmes and work it out OR actually be Sherlock Holmes - if you look like Benadryl Cucumber or Robert Downey Jr, I, for one, will definitely... well...
2. Don't freak out about periods and tampons or anything of that nature, it will annoy us to say the least. The cashier will most likely assume you are not on your period. If I walk into a shop and buy tampons the cashier will most likely guess that I am on my period. Just please buy the stuff and bring it to us. We will try our best to be nice to you, if we are not, we are either horrible people or we need ice-cream. Remember the ice-cream.
3. Shaving is not part of our everyday routine. Don't expect us to shave for you. If we want to shave, we do it for ourselves.
4. Makeup is for ourselves not for you. If we want to put makeup on, we will put makeup on. If we don't want to wear makeup, we are not going to wear makeup. THIS IS NOT A METHOD OF DECEPTION. If you can't understand that our eyes are not naturally bright green and our lips blood red, then there is nothing anyone can do for you.
5. You think that girls are stupid for acting 'stupid' because it's not cute. We think you are stupid for acting like a 'bad boy'. You do not look like Danny from Grease. You look like a prat. BE YOURSELF.
6. Make reference to our favourite shows. Just because...
7. We are more likely to forgive you, but we will not forget what you have done. If you do something to hurt us or our friends we will get revenge.
8. We will plan on revenge. Even if we don't act on it, we will find revenge. We will be crying about whatever someone has done, and we will be planning revenge.
9. We are just as human as you. We do exactly the same things as you, just with different parts. Actual scientific fact, we think about sex more than guys and we are more likely to be kinkier than guys.
10. Trust and loyalty is everything.
OK this is incredibly stereotypical. I know. A lot of it/most of it, applies to me. However, the main points stand. Don't freak out about tampons, don't force us to shave or wear makeup, don't tell us how to act and we won't tell you how you should act. JUST BE YOURSELF - unless you are naturally an asshole. If you are naturally an asshole I am sorry you have such a sad life.
Hello,
since my last post I haven't really changed. To be honest, I feel worse. I have lost almost all of my 'friends'. I really don't know how I am meant to feel. I'm not upset, if you realise you're friends have been lying to you and have abused you for years, you move on. I'm not going to dwell on the past. In 6 weeks I am going on study leave - this is the time where you are off school to revise for your GCSEs in the UK - so I wont have to see people.
Next Wednesday, I have a Spanish assessment so I have been revising for that and I have two computer science coursework pieces to hand in and guess what I haven't finished any of it. Usually when I get to this point I will constantly have panic attacks, whereas, now... I have no fucking clue. I just don't care. I feel like screaming but just can't be bothered. I cannot be bothered to do anything. Ergh.
Has anyone been watching any tv series lately? There are a few that I am going to watch over the summer after my GCSEs are over AKA Jessica Jones. Although I have been watching Agents of Shield, Lucifer and Gotham. If you haven't seen any of them go watch them. They are amazing! I won't give spoilers so go and watch them and tweet/message me somewhere about them! Also, what did you guys think about the Agent Carter finale? I thought it was really good but I think it was really obvious, there could have been a better ending. Do you think they should do a season 3? Tbh, I don't, the way the season ended meant that there isn't a big story line to continue from. What do you guys think?
It's funny how 2016 has become worse than 2015 in less than 2 months. Is this a shared feeling or is just because I have my GCSEs this year, I just had parents' evening, and I have 2 days to make it up to my parents about my 'dismal' results before I go to Berlin on a school trip. Well lets put it this way, my dad rarely ignores me.
Since I do have Berlin on Saturday, I most likely wont upload a video until the end of next week, but I do have a video filmed for Life of a Misfit (my group channel) however it still needs editing.
I really haven't been in the mood to do anything recently and I haven't felt like this for almost a year. Everything is worrying me, I can't listen to music without thinking that I am wasting my life away.
I'm going to see Deadpool on Friday for my friend's birthday, that will probably cheer me up, also I am going to Berlin on Saturday.
To be honest, I don't know how to cope. Everyone keeps talking about how I need to build up a stamina, work a bit, then a bit more, then a bit more, but I just can't. I don't have the attention span, I can't focus. I always feel like everything is moving. I feel like I have a constant head rush, like I have just spun round really fast, or I just ran a marathon, or I stood up to fast. But in reality I am lying down, my chest is pumping too fast and I am typing this. I feel like there is a solid wall coming towards me and I have to climb over it but the thing is, I have no upper body strength. I can't pull myself up, apparently I need to get stamina, which means repetition, which, to me, is the dullest thing on the planet.
My eyes are tired, I am drained. Everything feels like it is in slow motion but travelling too fast.
Hi,
In early 2014 I started up a blog called "War Against Reality", It is still up, you can go and find it, but tbh it is pretty shit. In 2014 I also started a youtube channel which has recently hit 100 subs so thanks guys. However, what I really wanted was to be able to type up how I was feeling, and post all my photography. I have Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, but I needed something different. So I have returned to the wonderful world that is blogging.
So I have my coffee (which I really shouldn't have because it increases my anxiety levels) and lets go on this marvellous adventure!
So as 2016 is approaching very quickly, what is a better way than to start with a few New Years Resolutions. I am probably going to make a video on this as well so stay tuned for that! :)
So these are my resolutions:
1. The 50 book challenge, again.
So I did try and do this during the course of 2015 but I never actually completed it. Ill go over the books I did read at a later date.
2. Make sure I am healthy mentally and physically.
I definitely don't do enough exercise, so yes, I will do more. I am extremely hypermobile, which really doesn't help. However, my main thing to focus on in 2016, health wise, is my mental health.
3. Upload a video and blog post once a week.
I have started taking my channel a lot more seriously, it is so much fun and I can get so much out of it. So you will be seeing me a lot more often on there and on here!
4. One glass of water and piece of fruit per day.
Yes you should have more than one but I am not healthy.
5. Talk to more people.
Take what you want from this. If that is meeting youtubers, you guys or just people in general, I want to overcome this barrier, that is social anxiety and actually talk.
6. Try stand up/improv.
Something that I have always loved is stand up comedy. Russell Howard, Frankie Boyle, Jack Howard and Catherine Ryan and so many more, really inspired me to do comedy. No, I am not brave enough to stand in front of thousands and talk back to a heckler, and I definitely can't think on my feet but I have youtube and hopefully I can make someone smile.
7. Laugh more.
I haven't laughed properly in so long, I have actually forgotten how to do it. That sounds strange but I am being serious. When my friends make me laugh, it feels wrong and it makes me sad. When I was younger I had a really loud laugh, like a proper belly laugh, which everyone seemed to love, however, when people pointed it out, I became really self conscious, so I stopped, slowly I backed into the shadows and I tried not to be seen. I say try because I was really tubby and people continued to bully me so...
8. Stop complaining. This thing is really bugging me and I am not going to do anything about it - I do this on a daily basis. Why should I inflict my problems on the rest of the world if all I am going to do is complain about them. Yes, things can annoy you, but I am going to do something about my problems rather than be held back by them.
9. Get up in the morning.
I get up way too late. On school days I barely make it on time and on the weekends, well if it is dark by the time you wake up, you have woken up too late.
10. Live in the moment. I wish it was the holidays. I wish it was the weekend. Only 3 days left to go, come on Rachel you can do this.
I am wishing my life away. I'm going to be 80, in a rocking chair and realise all I have done with my life is wish for a knight in shining armour can come and save me. No, why can't I go and save my own princess? why can't I be the hero/heroine of the story?
If I want to do something I will do it. I wont wait for someone else to do it before me. If I fuck these resolutions up, I can start again, then and there. I'm not going to wait for next year to arrive, just so I can fuck them up again.
So that is the end of my coffee so this is the end of my blog post.
Hope you had a great christmas, if you don't celebrate it, hope you have had a great couple of weeks.
Hope you have an absolutely fabulous New Year,
